Take a look back on your dating years.
Have you always been attracted to the same “Type” of partner as the one you married? I find it interesting that in relationships, we use a lot of language that supports the system of Energy Profiling!
Think about how often you’ve said one of these phrases:
He’s just my type!
We have great chemistry!
Are you my type?
What it means when you have a “type.”
Energy Profiling is a system based on movement and energy. That energy comes from the four main elements that everything in this physical world is made of: nitrogen, oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon (or air, water, fire, and earth). These elements have their own distinct movement and characteristics.
Every person leads with one of these four dominant expressions as well, and this is what is referred to as an Energy Type. Naturally, strengths and challenges arise when two people of different (or the same) Energy Types get together!
Suddenly the phrase, “They are not my type” has a lot more meaning. And since the four elements are chemical elements, saying, “We have great chemistry” makes much more sense too!
How can this information help you while dating?
If I were single, I would use Energy Profiling to know if the person I was dating was my “Type.”
My daughter Anne had this information to guide her dating choices. In fact, she dated a man of each Type to see what her preferences were. In the end, she fell in love with an active, reactive Type 3 man! When my Type 4 son, Mark, started dating his Type 1 wife, Jaleah, he introduced her to Energy Profiling on their second date so she would have the insights he had to explain their differences.
If you’re single, have some fun using Energy Profiling as a tool to help you meet the person who’s the right “Type” for you!
Energy Profiling can make a big difference in your marriage too.
In our early years of marriage, my husband Jon (Type 2) wanted me (Type 3) to be a soft and calm woman, which only made my determined nature appear more fiery and abrupt to him. I wanted him to be a go-getter and make things happen, which only made his more relaxed subtle nature seem like it was on pause all of the time!
We wanted each other to be the energy of our own Types—and it’s one of the reasons we had conflict.
When I saw this clip in the animated movie, Zooptopia, it brought me back to my early days of marriage, where I felt like the rabbit and Jon was the sloth!
Energy Profiling was the missing piece that helped Jon and I understand why we approach life so differently. Now we are able to support each other more easily.
Want even more support on how to “get” each other? I have a powerful, two-week course in the Carol Tuttle Healing Center called The Relationship Reset.
On March 20th, I’m guiding all Healing Center members through the course together. You’re personally invited to join us!
We’ll talk about how to stay in your own power and unblock dysfunctional energy that’s keeping you both stuck in a cycle of disharmony.
Here’s a testimonial from one of my Healing Center members sharing what it can look and feel like:
“I’m noticing a calm in myself and willingness to be accountable for my share of the relationship problems. I feel new energy coming into our relationship—we are enjoying each other much more! I’m able to step away and look at myself first before talking to my husband and then I’m able to speak clearly about what I need. I am amazed at the difference it has made in our relationship and how effortless it is shifting for both of us.”
See how you can transform your relationship in just two weeks.
You need The Relationship Reset. This is a power-packed, two-week course that’s designed to help you transform your relationship, even if your partner isn’t on board!
The best part? When you become a new member of the Carol Tuttle Healing Center, I gift you a complimentary two-week free trial. That means you could start (or even complete) the whole Relationship Reset before paying a thing.
We officially start the guided plan on March 20th. Join now!
Share this post with a friend who could benefit from the Relationship Reset too!
Energy Profiling resources to support you:
I reckon my ex was a 4/1 perhaps? Or a 1/4. This was in the 1990s so long before DYT. My husband of 22 years is a 3/2, I’m sure. So I went for someone VERY different to my ex! haha.
Hi Catherine, I have an off topic question….I’m trying to determine my husbands type. He has some wounding going on that is making it hard for me to confirm. I’m leaning towards 3/2 so I wonder if would mind describing your husband a bit? How he operates?
Hi. Firstly I looked at his face, he has an angular face. At first I thought he was a type 2 but looking at his face he is not. He always has a scowl too, that Carol mentions. He is determined but never makes a song and dance about it, he just gets on with practical things. His hobbies are all outdoor and practical whereas mine (type 4) are indoor ones like reading, writing fiction etc.
Our life is summed up as: him doing practical things, getting impatient if they go wrong, and me looking up the solution on the internet.
However, he is a nurse and a teacher so he has a caring side, I reckon he was pushed back into his S2 by the sheer number of 3s and 4s in his family as he is the baby of the family.
Also he looks his best in type 3 colours, he looks dead in type 2 colours.
I hope that helps 🙂
It does, thank you very much! Mine definitely has the famous scowl too! Lol.
I was attracted to my husband’s roll-with-the punches attitude (he’s a 2/1) and he was attracted to my sarcasm and forge-ahead attitude (4/3). What frustrated him was my all-or-nothing 4-ness and I was frustrated by how much deliberation it took to make a decision. Now we know why and how we each move through this life and there is far more harmony between us.
I dated, I’m sure all the types. Engaged to many. My first husband I believe was a 4. That so did not end up working, he had way to much control. My second husband (a rebound) I loved his son and liked him. He I believe was a t1 That obviously did not work. I needed a grounding fun person who let me take charge when I needed to and as Marjorie Kimball said, “he gave me wings to fly.” For me that mean let me be my t3 nature. That is the man I’m married to. Our natures just fit. I’m a 3/1 and he’s a 2/1. Harmony.
Hi Carol!
I thought my Fiancé was a Type 2 when we first started talking, but after a couple of months I realized that he is a dominant Type 4! Since realizing this, it has made me understand his personality so much better. I am a Type 4/1 so we use the word “Perfect” a lot! Thank you so much for all that you do! It is such a blessing in my life 🙂
-Mary Bower
I’m a 4/2 and mostly dated other 4s and 2s. Higher energy types just exhausted me after a couple dates! And I wanted someone I could be quiet with and have discussions about books and art, and things like that. My husband is a 4, I think also a 4/2 although I’m not positive. Our daughter is also a 4, possibly a 4/2!
I’m T2/1. When I was living at home I realize I dated people like my type 1 dad because I felt like that would make my parents happy. After moving away to collage I dated a type 3 for a little bit but ended up marrying his type 4 best friend. I LOVE my type 4 husband. I didn’t have any type 4’s in my family so it was so refreshing to meet someone who was willing to move at my pace. We have a wonderful life together.
Pretty sure I was mostly attracted to T1’s like my husband. We’ve been married 40 years, with no brothers or father in the house, men were a mystery to me! I remember meeting my Mom & grandma’s friends, thinking I don’t want to marry a grumpy man who always complained and never laughed! They didn’t want kids in the house, but I thought they were always like that! I liked men who were happy and thought they were rare. My grandfather was an amazing T2 man, I loved him dearly, some perceived him as weak – it’s clear now, he was the strongest, most respected man in our family.
I was just contemplating this recently and was surprised to find that most of the guys I dated are T1, those who aren’t have T1 as a secondary. My husband is T1 (but wasn’t allowed to show his T1 nature as a child so when we first me, he was more like a T4 or at times T2. It wasn’t until he felt safe being himself and acted like a T1 that I really fell in love with him). My dad is also a T1. I’m a T3/2.
I’m a 2/1 and I’ve liked all sorts of different guys. My last boyfriend was a 4/2 and it was just too harsh and slow of an environment for me. Needless to say we didn’t last long lol. My current boyfriend (and for sure my future husband!) is a type 1/2 and I could feel the difference as soon as I met him! We got along so well right off the bat and everything has been perfect since! We’re both so kind and fun loving and it’s such a perfect match! I grew up living as a 1/3 with me being the oldest and both of my parents having strong 3 energies, I kind of adapted to pushing back and standing up for unfairness. I think my boyfriend grew up living as a 2/4 in his home with him being the youngest and I think he was like the comforting stable one to his crazy type 3/1 mom, but both of our 2/1 and 1/2 energies shine through our adult selves! So personally I think we both have the right amount of adventurous and strong energies in each of us! I feel like I’m the one to push to get things done and he’s the one to make sure it goes through and find out the information about it. Our arguments always escalate quickly and then end abruptly with both of us feeling bad like 3 minutes later and we both apologize.
I’m a type 4/2, and I’ve been married to a type 1 since 1982. We are enormous advocates of the Myers Briggs 16 personality types, but there were missing elements that the energy types at least helped to explain for me. Without a doubt, I have done plenty of type shaming where James is concerned. Between his INTP self which is always looking for double meanings, and his type 1 need to keep things light he pretty much drives me up a wall on a regular basis—and more so now that he’s at least temporarily retired. He probably tells 20-30 jokes a day—and maybe 1 of them I find humorous, if I’m lucky. I have BEGGED him, in tears, from time to time, for years to stop being the court jester. I’ve explained to him that his constant joking is like living with someone dragging their fingernails across a chalkboard for me. Nothing gets through to him. He simply HAS to verbalize every ridiculous thing that enters his mind. I can’t get him to look at the energy types. He just keeps saying he’s a 10, and laughing every time he says it. The only thing I’ve learned to do that helps me cope with the situation is to just say, “Yes, dear” to his jokes if he’s hoping for a response from me. I can’t laugh if something isn’t humorous to me—and since James tends to recycle jokes many times—most of what he jokes about is no longer funny to me or never was. I am not without a sense of humor. If I find something truly funny I’ll laugh until I’m in tears.