A soft heart plus a sharp mind. That’s the Type 2 & Type 4 relationship.
Because of their more introverted tendencies and lower movement through life, the people in this combination need effective communication to overcome challenges and create a smooth relationship.
Learn as Anne and I share insights on how to bring harmony into every interaction in ways that respect and honor each Type.
Affirmation:
“I bring forth the greatest gifts of our relationship to bless our lives with joy.”
Other episodes in this series:
The Type 1 & Type 4 Relationship: Episode 1
The Type 2 & Type 3 Relationship: Episode 2
The Type 1 & Type 2 Relationship: Episode 4
The Type 3 & Type 4 Relationship: Episode 5
The Type 1 & Type 3 Relationship: Episode 6
The Type 1 & Type 1 Relationship: Episode 7
The Type 2 & Type 2 Relationship: Episode 8
The Type 3 & Type 3 Relationship: Episode 9
The Type 4 & Type 4 Relationship: Episode 10
This was wonderful! I am a 21 who has been married to a 4/2 for 22 years and learning about energy types has definitely enhanced our relationship. I would say that one of nicest things about being married to a type 4 is how he always very patiently answers all of my questions. I know that I can always look to him to have thought things through objectively when maybe I’ve gotten caught up in the details or the emotions of the issue. He is incredibly loyal to me and I love how he feels safe enough with me to share his private feelings. We have a great partnership. I love being married to a type 4!
I have the exact same experience, Amanda! 😀
I’m a 2/1 married to a 4/2 also. I came from a type 3 mom and a type 1 dad with no type 4 siblings. So I love the clarity and stability he brings to my life. We’ve been married 2.5 years and I agree “communication is key”. I agree with Anne about writing down my thoughts. I do this all the time. My husband is very reliable and I giggled a little when you talked about clarifying romantic expectations. Early on I laid out for him “I want yellow roses for our anniversary, Valentine’s Day and my birthday.” And haven’t said a word since. He does exactly what I’ve requested.
That has also been a challenge in our relationship because he is very literal. So things that I think are “thoughtful” or “plain common sense” to assume… Well… that whole realm of assuming doesn’t compute with him. So to support him I’ve had to adjust my words to be more direct when I need help or additional comfort. I can’t just assume “well I’m sad so he should give me a hug and hold me for a while.” I have learned to tell him “I need you to hold me.”
It’s been really awesome because he does love me and wants to support me. I just need to directly explain how He can do that for me.
I’m also a 2/1 married to a 4/2. I can completely relate. I have to constantly communicate what I need from him emotionally because he just doesn’t naturally get it. He is a wonderful husband, though, and likes it when I ask him for help or how I need him. Buy it can get old asking…I’m still not 100% used to it. I think as a type 2, if someone had to constantly ask me to meet certain needs, I’d be insulted. But my type 4 husband never is. He just needs to be told.
It was an adjustment for us too but once he’s told you’ll never have to ask twice…
What a cute picture of you 2! I’m glad this video was helpful for you!
I have a T4 daughter and as a T2, I can certainly relate to these challenges. I have often thought that she is being mean and insensitive. To her, I was letting emotions get in the way. Understanding the types had enabled us to get along much better and to appreciate our unique gifts.
I also have a type 4 daughter, and this was spot on, however my daughter won’t have anything to do with DYT and doesn’t want to hear anything that has to do with it. I have to apply what I’ve learned about relating to her on the sly! Wish she was interested as I think she would gain great insight into herself and our relationship.
If you continue to empower yourself she’ll notice your strengthening, how much more you respect her and eventually join DYT. I buy my husband T4 clothes and now its all he wears even though he hasn’t watched any videos or really get the program Best wishes.
I am a type 4 with a type 2 husband. We’ve been married for 34 years. This information would have been so helpful in our early marriage. Some times I would get so frustrated because he took so long to understand and take action on a situation. If someone was explaining something to us, I would understand and immediately want to take that information and put it to work. He, on the other hand, needed to ask questions and take time to think it through. I finally realized that he processes things differently than I do, and I needed to be patient. He’s a wonderful man and I love him dearly. We’ve learned over the years how to communicate with each other but knowing our types back then would have made it smoother sailing.
If he know his type that will help even more. Best wishes.
This info has helped my marriage immensely! I’m a 2/1 and he’s a 4/1 or 4/3. What impressed me immediately was is reliability and thoughtfulness (not to mention his great humor and handsome face):) He’s quiet socially then comes up with hilarious insightful punchlines! I did expect him to show his appreciation of me the way I would of him with words. To this day I’ve never heard him say “what I love about you is…” But he always remembers special dates with beautiful thoughtful cards (some hand made per my request), amazing gifts and constant loyalty. We’ve worked out a lot of issues with making appointments for discussions (there is a right time for everything), giving him a man cave, respecting him (and myself), standing up for myself by defending my point of view & at times reminding him that his way is right for him but not for everyone, and we both “go with” whomever is feeling more strongly about something when making choices. I adore is clarity and objectivity which compliments my emotional brain. Thanks Carol!
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/63835afdba6337113b1b68e514bb5b0f237d2e7e1ae4d50b5ec928f1d5f1624a.jpg I am a 2/4 and my partner is a 4/2. I feel like this is an interesting dynamic! I’d love to learn more about our type of relationship!!! I feel like its easy for one of us to live in our secondaries to mesh to each other better maybe? This is all pretty new to us! But I do feel like we compliment each other!
This combo is me (2) and my Mom (4) ! Some good tips here for me to try…thank you
My daughter is a 2/3, and I’m a 4/2, and I really love our relationship. When she was a teenager, we would write back and forth to each other in a journal book that we kept in a special spot, sometimes for fun, sometimes to work through difficult things. Now that she’s a grown up, married woman, we text a lot and sometimes have very involved (and humorous!) conversations. She likes to use me as a sounding board for a book she’s writing, and she seems to enjoy my wit. Needless to say, I love her more than air 🙂
However, I’d want to say that I did not feel real great about this video or the tenor of the discussion that followed — realizing that it’s all a year old. It felt like the main point was, “You Fours are so blunt and insensitive, here’s how you can be more sensitive.” I don’t feel I am insensitive to other people at all — I’m INFJ on the Myers-Briggs, and so hyper-aware of other people’s feelings that if I didn’t take time alone to rest from that awareness, I’d be sunk. When people paint in such a broad brush as this discussion, it honestly makes me feel a little hopeless.
Thanks for your comment. Consider the possibility your secondary Type 2 gives you the ability to soften your Type 4. There are many Type 4 people who can come across as insensitive to others, my intent in sharing this information is to help all of us understand ourselves better so we can make choices that are honoring to our selves and others. If you have not yet had a chance, I encourage you to read my book “It’s Just My Nature” to understand my Energy Profiling model in it’s completeness.
I feel like before DYT, I was living a lot in my secondary 2 because I sensed it was what other people wanted from me. The problem was that people were walking all over me a lot, and I had a lot of anger about it — I’d go home and vent privately (and very articulately haha 😉 in my journal, feel better for awhile, then repeat the cycle.
Neon Yellow Shirt to the Rescue!!!! LOLOLOLOL. Apparently, no one wants to try walking all over a woman wearing these colors. My angers have all but dissipated; I mostly write gratitude in my journal these days 🙂
Book on order; can’t wait to read it. I love your work.
I am a 4/1 woman married to a 2/4 man. Sometimes our inward nature is so isolating for me. One thing I learned was the important of asking for his support, rather than expecting it or demanding it. I do get tired of the aloneness and often wish he were more energetic and out going. He does not take the initiative in our relationship and sometimes I feel that burden intensely.
I’m a T4 who thought I was a T1 for a time. As a “T1” I dated some T2 men & felt I couldn’t respect them. I wondered why when I’d say what I meant, they would assume & change my meaning. I always heard that women assume & hint, & that men get frustrated with women because men are direct & logical. I was so frustrated that I was straightforward & they weren’t appreciating it, & that they even took on the “women’s” game. Now it makes sense. It also makes sense why I felt awkward that they were more romantic & emotional. Knowing my T4 nature helps me choose to respect those qualities in T2 men.
Thank you for these relationship videos. I recently have been dating a T2 (maybe with a S1). I am a T4. The previous men in my life were definitely higher energy. I am not used to not being pursued, but reading below that they (T2s) may not be pursuers is helpful…and this guy is shy, teary, and desires comfort….and he verbalizes this to boot. Knowing my type has helped me understand myself and people more. I’ve been using this knowledge to help me navigate this new territory for myself with a T2. Normally, prior to dyt, I would have moved on, as it was not my cup of tea, but I am trying to learn what is possibly a good relationship. Thank you, Carol & Anne, because this helps me gain insight. The one constant for me is that I know who I am and can proceed from that.
I appreciate the tips and insights, but I think its more challenging when one or both are emotionally unhealthy, with child wounding… and one is not able to be their true type…