Don’t like your true nature? What’s blocking you from accepting yourself?
This week on #EnergyProfilingWithCarol, I feature a Type 1 woman who shared what helped her decide that she was definitely a Type 1.
Then meet my next guest, Kate, who just discovered her true Energy Type 30 minutes before the show—and it’s hard for her to see it!
What keeps us from seeing who we truly are?
We’re talking inner child healing, face profiling, emotions, and more on today’s episode. And if you want to see how Kate accepted her true nature and embraced her Energy Type in the months after the show, watch her Before & After here!
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Kate went deeper into the topics mentioned in this show and filmed a Lifestyle video to help other women heal their pent-up emotions.
I related to Kate and how she took learning her type. Really impressed by her bravery. My upbringing was great, but my parents always said how challenging I was from 3-5. (Even younger I was defiant and got into trouble) Even after that age, I felt I had to try hard to keep out of trouble and sometimes would get really strong reactions from people and feel taken-aback because I wasn’t trying to do anything wrong! I always fought with one sister (we shared a room) and that drove my mom crazy (and I felt like she took my sister’s sides over me). By 14 I had decided to never marry because guys were imature (well, of course they are at that age!) And later after meeting my now husband (who wasn’t imatute ;)) I decided to get married as soon as possible because I’d tried so hard to fit into a good-girl (obedient, submissive, sweet) mold that I didn’t want to be single (with more autonomy) and then try to get married and fit myself back into that role. I didn’t think I’d be able to be a “good wife” if I got a taste of independence. Whew! I’ve let go of my people-pleasing tendancies and am ready to live a life that supports me. I turned 30 this year, and I am ready to love my inner child and be the grown-up woman I am.
Well, I felt really unconfortable watching the second part of this video, where Carol re-typed Kate: I could feel she was struggling with that conclusion and I can only wish her the best, and I hope she finds herself. I also was unconfortable because I always get anxious when I think I might not be a type 2: I start analyzing all those things I do/feel that could not be type 2 (like anxiety) and get so worried… I feel like I can’t be sure anymore! And face profiling doesn’t work for me, I’m afraid: I always see softness in me, but also see it in Kate’s face, for instance…
I understand 100%. Truly, 100%. Everything you wrote. As hard as I try and study and study and pore over things, I’m not very good at profiling. I would not have thought she was a T3. I see softness in her but me too – but a part of me still wonders about T3 to the point I haven’t been able to bring myself to get rid of some T3 clothes I own. I could completely relate to Kate’s story of her upbringing with a very strong father, a mother that worked to keep him happy. Yep. And yep – getting so tired of the struggle that I decided T2 is it. I am forever the peacemaker in my family, I don’t stand up and speak out when I probably should, I get into details but also to-do lists – definitely write things on them to get it checked off! While I totally understand why Carol stopped doing profiling – I’m such she would get overwhelmed with them – I wish it was still possible. I detest these underlying feelings of not being sure… just want to move on! As the saying goes, the struggle is real! Sigh, time to get back to work, much to do around here and I’ve spent enough time sitting at the computer.
I’m glad you shared your story and I wish you too the best in this journey 🙂 I believe deep down we know who we are and, as Carol says, we must stop analyzing sonething that is, in fact, an intuitive process. I feel I can’t help you because I’m too, sometimes (like today!) unsure about my own intuition – when my rationalism gets in the way…- but here’s what I intend to do (I share in case it can be helpful): I’m going to do/wear/say what feels right to me, what harmonizes with my self, what makes me feel balanced and grounded. And, only then, and only if I consider it supports me, I’m going to look whether it fits some “category”. I’ve decided, as Carol says, to change my script and end self-doubt…we’ll see if it works! Good luck and many hugs to you too!
Good for you Anne!
Carol the very fact that you are so threatened and uncomfortable with my thoughtful responses to Angel and Anne is very enlightening and revealing about you as a person. I have no idea why you deleted what I just wrote to both of them, but it says a lot about your state of mind that you would find anything I said unacceptable. God bless you Sweetie- I sure hope everything’s ok.
Hi Elizabeth, No one deleted your comment. You could be having a problem with Disqus on your end. When it still shows your name, but no copy, that means there is a technical error. I reviewed the delete history and searched for your name and there were no deleted comments from you. I read your comment to Kate and thought it was lovely. Thanks for you support.
When my replies to Angel and Anne were written, they stayed up for an hour and then they disappeared altogether. It said something about “awaiting approval” or something like that. Then that disappears and both of my replies to Angel and Anne were gone completely. So I went back and tried to delete all my comments from this site but couldn’t- so if you see two dots ” .. ” that’s what I did because it wouldn’t let me delete the whole post, so I removed the content. Thank you for re-printing my replies to Angel and Anne. I’ll have to take some time to evaluate this situation and decide how I will move forward. Thank you.
You altered the words in the replies for no reason. Nothing was negative and nothing contradicted your teaching.
Thanks for emailing support@dressingyourtruth.com and ask my support team for help and any insights to why this is happening.
Why are you continuing to edit and delete portions of my posts when you just promised not to do so anymore?
Hi Elizabeth, thanks for emailing support@dressingyourtruth.com and ask them for some help with the issues you are experiencing. I trust they can help you resolve this. o
Thank you Carol! I already emailed them and they assured me that the only person who can alter the content in my posts is you. I support your policy- thanks!
Thank you, Carol…
Thanks Carol! I got great feedback from the support team and they assured me this issue will never happen again. I invite you to take a look at our correspondence- you have an excellent team in place. They had nothing to do with altered comments.
It’s difficult to find yourself and see yourself when you are living in fear and worry. First shift your life from fear and worry and grow you confidence as a woman. Then see what Type you express. I recommend you read my book Remembering Wholeness to help you learn how to create an affirmative life.
Thank you for responding! I read that book quite awhile ago, but I will get it out and reread it with a new sense of purpose.
Angel, I wrote you a response but it won’t let me paste it here- so read what I wrote to Anne… I hope it helps!! Also- I want to mention what you said about the T3 Facebook group… I can see how hanging out with a group that is only one particular energy type would be draining no matter what type you are… That is why the new FB group for all types sounds SO AWESOME! Speaking for myself- I need variety… I have to mix it up with all kinds of types… I love the differences in people. I’m not on FB, but when I read in It’s Just Your Nature who the famous type one celebrities are, I was like “Sarah Palin?? Rachel Ray?? Sally Field?? Dolly Parton?? Oh my word!! Hanging out with a group like that would wear me OUT!!!!” And I’m a type one too!!! We need balance- that’s why the new FB group will be so amazing and awesome for everyone… It’s like a great marriage where you have different energies and co-creators balancing each other out… That’s what makes life so fun and interesting. All that to say- I can totally see how hanging out with one particular energy type could end up being too much for anyone… But at the same time- it would fascinating to see all the differences and variations there are in a group of type 3s, for example. As Kramer said on Seinfeld “Mother Nature’s a MAD scientist, Jerry!!” 🙂
That’s an interesting view point I hadn’t thought of…. all one type of energy could get to be a bit much. I laughed out loud at your comment about how hanging out with Rachel Ray, etc. would wear you out and you are a type 1. I did read the response you wrote to Anne – it was very thoughtful! I went ahead and responded to it 🙂
Why are you continuing to delete stuff when you promised not to do so anymore?
I felt the same way! I was listening to Kate and thinking, “she sounds much more Type 2 than me–if she’s not them maybe I’m not.” In retrospect, it sounds silly and I recognize that it’s totally not a productive way to look at it, but that’s what I was thinking, while feeling very uncomfortable because she was uncomfortable. I am so glad they’re going to have her back because I think I’ll feel much better seeing her bloom as a T3!
Yes! She does sound more type 2 than me… I certainly emphasized with her, I really think T2 is my primary or secondary… but true confessions here…. more than once my hubby has told me I think like a guy and just want to “cut to the chase” and decide what to do rather than sit and listen quietly when he is emotional – but I swear I’m trying to listen and help … so for that and other reasons I think “the T3 force is strong in me” (can you tell I have Star Wars fans in the family? LOL!)
Wow, I just want to put my arms around Kate and give her a big hug… I wish so much that she could see herself the way Carol and others see her- lovely, beautiful, attractive, and perfect just the way she is. When you’ve been that wounded as a child, you end up thinking “I have to be a certain way”… And then you dislike yourself even more when you look around and see that you’re not like everyone else…. And it’s a vicious circle. So if you don’t like yourself just the way you are, it’s that much more more difficult to discover your true nature. Because you’re always comparing yourself to the other types. My message to Kate is that she is a stunning and gorgeous beauty with lots of gifts to bring to this world- and I hope she never again feels she has to change a single thing about herself in order to live her truth… Just let it happen naturally as you heal old wounds. When you like yourself and love yourself- you’ll see your energy type in a whole new light. <3
The first guest showed me the EP of a friend! They are so alike in features and deportment… she’s a T1! So suprised!
Thank you for sharing Kate. I NEVER thought I would be a type 3 either. I relate so much to most of what you said about your family and upbringing…I still get migranes from supressing anger and tears. Best of luck moving forward. Also, Teija is gorgeous and I loved what she had to say about going with your first “hit” on type – which for me was a 3.
Yes – watching this caused to me again look at whether or not I am really type 2. More and more I think no… and I really understand about migraines!
Kate, you are amazing. Thank you for your bold energy to be here today. You ARE strong. You can (will) do this. Hugs from this T2. I am in awe of your courage. hugs again. And thank you so much. And for the lovely T1- your lightness made my heart smile. Thank you.
Such a valuable video! I can imagine that many women who have not yet figured out their type would find this video very validating….it is not a simple process for everyone, and it is helpful to know that for those who are still struggling to know. During the period that I was unsure, I felt like it was another source of anxiety, and I just wanted to know so that I could move along in the process and stop my fretting over it. So I could really see and relate to the heaviness and weariness that Kate was feeling….but by the end of Kate’s conversation with Carol, I could already see those feelings beginning to lift, and her face begin to lighten and brighten….how nice! Before long, Kate will be feeling as free as Taija now feels! I think it is so important to be patient, kind and gentle with yourself during this discovery phase, because the whole point of DYT is to make your life experience better and happier…..not harder!! Especially anyone who is feeling uncomfortable, start by being more patient, kind and gentle with yourself, and let the insights come to you naturally. Give yourself a break!!!!
Kate, thank you so much for showing up where you are in your process. I wish you the blessing of self-knowing and self-acceptance and self-love. May you let your true nature take you where you need to go – with swift, dynamic passion.
She has such beautiful exotic eyes! (Kate)
Thank you for your advice, Elizabeth: I do know which video you’re talking about, and I relate very much to what Anne Tuttle shares in it. Thank you very much for your kind words and, for sure you are not “out of line”!
My upbringing was very different from Kate’s, as I didn’t have that introvert or domineering energy in my parents: both were very supporting, although they had their vision of what a child looked like… and it was light and fun. I was labeled “serious” and sometimes “needy” and I had to learn to extrovert myself to express in a way that was more “natural” for my family: it was difficult, specially, with the social aspect because I was always asked to “have more friends” or “be more outgoing” or “have more fun”. I know saying this sounds like my parents disrespected me, and I wouldn’t want to give that impression at all: my parents are the most beautiful people I know! But our energies, I think, were/are different and I guess they had had to struggle with their own families as well (both of them with their corresponding strong and domineering parent) and did the best they could with their children. So I don’t want to judge them or their energies (which I’m not sure of, but I won’t be around “profiling” people, because I’m no expert!), but I need to do some healing before I can separate what I truly feel I am from their opinions and visions of me: and that’s the process I’m in. So, as I said in a previous comment, I’m going to take Carol’s wise advice and stop self-doubting and over-analyzing everything I do, because who I am is ALREADY expressing in my daily life: I don’t have to effort it. I just have to listen to myself.
I now feel I need to relax into who I am and let Life reassure me.
And, a final note: this is self-discovery, and that is a lifetime process… I think we need to stop considering this as a task that you have to do and then it’s done: it’s a lifetime journey 🙂 I need to remind this from time to time!
Ladies, whoever you are, you are beautiful in ways you don’t even know! Remind yourself that and, as someone has pointed out, be gentle and caring to yourselves too. Love to you all, and good luck!
To Elizabeth and Anne – I too know the 2/3 3/2 video very well, I think I have about memorized it! Both lovely ladies speak so well, and I can relate to them both. My Dad has a very strong personality, plus I grew up in the military, and we definitely tiptoed around to not upset Dad. I remember getting a report card in the 5th grade saying something to the effect I spoke back too freely to a teacher once (usually my report cards were glowing) – I had NO idea what it referred to, but my Dad chewed me out up one side and down another, and I learned to be quite meek and quiet in the classroom… Anne, I can really relate to what you are saying about healing – from my Dad’s very strong personality and anger, plus such ingrained teaching to be a quiet little wife to the point I squashed much of me. I’m trying to do what you suggested stop – started training to run a 10K, which is something hubby has ZERO interest in and thinks I’m nuts and doing it to please others, but I really want to prove I can do things like that – for myself.
That’s awesome Angel!! I’m so glad I got to meet you here- I’ve learned so much from reading your story and your thoughtful insights <3
This is a video I will be revisiting because there is so much valuable advice in it. What an amazing transformation Tia!
And thank you Carol for confronting the issue of mistyping. Its agonizing for me to watch beautiful women undercut their personal power and beauty; many times they are beautiful and young enough to be able to pull off another type and still get complements. I am so glad that Kate will get to experience the magic of knowing her energy type because this knowledge is very magical and transformative.
Carol why are you still deleting my comments and editing out entire paragraphs when you said you would stop doing that?
I would love to see Kate come in as one of the live makeovers! I can see the pain and frustration in her face. I want to see her victorious in her own skin. I know we all can see clearly that the Type 2 colors and styles are not doing her justice. They are putting a damper on her flame. I want to see her shine.
I agree completely!
“What does MY expression of my type look like?” Wow, that was so enlightening!!! A light bulb went off. I’ve been dressing my truth for 2 years, and I’m definitely a primary 4, but I still felt off. The problem is I thought I was a secondary 1 (my mom & brother are both Type 1’s), but now I think I’m a secondary 3!! That is so huge. I’m intense, I’m serious, I’m opinionated… definitely much edgier than a secondary 1. A typical type 4 is way too prim & proper for me, but the addition of a secondary 3 makes so much sense. Thank you so much! I’ve read both energy type books, think it’s time to read The Child Whisperer.
I identify with this as well. I thought I was t4/1, but I discovered I am actually t4/3! What an amazing difference it makes!
Megan, how has it changed your life? So far I’ve only changed my clothing (donated the “cutsey” stuff I had, which was way too girly for me), and am wearing mostly darker colors now, which feels more comfortable. STRANGELY, the first time I stepped out in all black, people were NICER to me!!! I got way more smiles & friendly glances than usual. I couldn’t believe it; I was expecting people to be turned off by the black, but it had the opposite effect. Guess there’s something to “dressing our truth” after all!
That’s awesome! The main thing it’s helped me with is understanding that what I thought was me being ‘fun and light’ was really more intense than I realized. I also was still feeling a lot of pressure to be social even when I thought I was a secondary t1. Now, I don’t feel that same pressure and it is a relief.
I related so much to this video! It has me wondering if I am typing my wounded self the same way. I have stayed in t2 due to my feeling that I am tired of trying so hard. I often feel two sides of myself vying for the spotlight. Ive labeled one side too sensitive and weak, while the other side can be too pushy. I have felt so frustrated over the years, as if I’m not allowed to be me. I am a department manager in a retail store, I have 25 associates. I do well making plans, delegating tasks-the work side but I struggle with scheduling and relationships. My associates have a lot of restrictions, many of them are moms and wives. I do my very best to work around them and get upset when I hear that they complain amongst themselves. On my bad days I feel anxious and I worry whether they like working for me. On my good days I enjoy hearing that my associates appreciate my support. I am not a nurturer by nature but I am a good listener. Deep down it makes me feel so stupid and insecure but I know where it’s coming from. Growing up there are two big hits to my personality: we moved all the time and I always felt like an outsider and my mother could be so reactive when angry. In my teen years I acted out a lot and later my mother and I got closer as she helped with my young family. Anyway too much info… I think I may be a t3 as well because I am very goal oriented and strong willed, I just let my lack of confidence get in my own way. My secondary has got to be t2! Thank you for this broadcast, it gave me a lot to consider!!
I understand very well what you are saying. Kind of that Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde feeling… and letting my lack of confidence get in my own way – I could be the poster child! LOL!!
This brought me to tears; broke my heart to hear of her wounding. Sending vibes of emotional healing for her. Energy Type Birthday; I love it! I wish I had notated the date I found myself (although it was a difficult birth!)
Love this comment, Barbara!
Thank you for such a wonderfully helpful response! I think I have finally – with a TON of deep reflection – realized that I am a T3 with S2. This realization is both scary and a relief, but more and more I knew that I simply am not T2. Yep, exactly as Carol described – so many older women type themselves as 2’s because of how they were raised. Any how, your description of your daughter was so helpful! Discord is so hard, especially if it is my family. And absolutely I have squelched emotions when that is the safe option!
After almost two years of studying dressing your truth I’m still torn between type 1 and type 3. I have so many qualities of both, and yet so many people I know in both types….I feel complete opposite of them. To me my facial features are all t3 so that’s what I’ve “landed on”. Yet I’m not a “driven” go getter. I was not wounded as a child I had a very accepted and loving upbringing for which I am so very grateful. I just wish I could have Carol look at me for 5 seconds and say “you are…” and i would just know. She keeps saying you are your own authority and you intuitively know what you are. Yet here I am, still stuck between 2 types. It drives me crazy till I have to walk away, put it out of my mind for a while.
It’s incredibly frustrating to continually see “Follow me on Facebook to watch #CarolTuttleTV live and also to access the full listing of #CarolTuttleTV episodes.” when one does not use FB. 🙁
Is there another way to see them??
I agree! I too do not have FB! I thought I was the only dinosaur lol
Nope, you’re not! 🙂
I’m so grateful for Kate coming onto the show! I used to stifle my type 3 a lot with my secondary 2 as well. I used to spend so much time in the store getting bogged down by the details & trying to make a decision on which shoes to get, but it’s not my true nature & it isn’t comfortable for me to live that way. Taking that kind of time is not my true process and I was in therapy off & on for years because of hating my true nature. I thought I needed to think through my decisions more carefully & I didn’t let myself enjoy my results, never thinking they were good enough. My mom is a 3/1 and she actually thought I was a type 2 at first, I never moved fast enough for her super energy lol & I didn’t think I could be a type 3 for a long time because I’m so chill in comparison to her!