What happens when you pair soft, subtle Type 2 energy with the swift, substantial movement of Type 3?
In this episode of the relationship series, you’ll find out!
Watch for the strengths and challenges specific to this relationship. We’ll give you keys to being heard (for both of you), along with phrases and ideas to make your communication both smooth and straightforward:
Affirmation for this partnership: I am grateful that these energies come together and play beautifully for the greatest good of our relationship.
Other episodes in this series:
The Type 1 & Type 4 Relationship: Episode 1
The Type 2 & Type 4 Relationship: Episode 3
The Type 1 & Type 2 Relationship: Episode 4
The Type 3 & Type 4 Relationship: Episode 5
The Type 1 & Type 3 Relationship: Episode 6
The Type 1 & Type 1 Relationship: Episode 7
The Type 2 & Type 2 Relationship: Episode 8
The Type 3 & Type 3 Relationship: Episode 9
The Type 4 & Type 4 Relationship: Episode 10
Anne, I like your idea of doing the figure 8 in your mind when you talk to people!
I recently realized I’m a type 3 (thought i was a 4 because all my 3 qualities were squelched down), and I am married to a type 2. I find all of this valuable. I really struggle listening to my husband go on and on and on and on about the same thing, but it is his way of processing through it. I am learning this, and will use the information today to help give him what he needs. I appreciate the affirmation, I wrote it down quickly in my planner for a reference when I’m feeling frustrated with him.
I understand!!
This is something I struggle with also! I often don’t ask my husband how his day was because it is a very detailed explanation that I often can’t focus long enough on to benefit him and he gets frustrated. On the other side he asks me how my day was and I say Fine but don’t want talk about it because it’s done and I’m usually thinking about the next day already.
I am a Type 3 with a secondary 2 and married to a Type 3 secondary 4 – wow – this was such a great video to help not only with my marriage but also I have a 2/3 son and a 1/4 son. I just love your ideas and the genuine love and desire to help us understand not only OUR energies but the energies of others. Thank you!
As a type two, my new phrase is “I’ll get back to you.” Such valuable information thanks!!
As a type two with a traumatic childhood, I tended to shut off myself whenever I sense a potential conflictual situation. My ex husband was a type 4 with strong secondary 3. His critical views and fearless way of expressing his frustrations made me shut off most of the time during our marriage. He was also unable to handle my emotions because it would be distracting and frustrating to him. So I tried very hard to hold my feelings back and felt very alone. Our love slowly faded away and lots of misunderstandings created due to our lack of communications. After our separation, I still have days blaming myself not being strong enough to open up myself to hold his strong emotions and be there for him.
While I was watching this video, Carol said that you care about your type two husband and made up the time for him to express himself as he didn’t get to express himself as much as he needed to in his childhood. Your love touched my heart and I bursted into tears. I felt this is what love is. I’m grateful for my past experience and now I’m with my partner who is also a type 4 with strong secondary 3. He loves me so much that he made up time to listen to my feelings and able to hold the space for my emotions. I became relaxed and at ease again and able to be my natural self in front of him. We are very happy together.
Thanks Carol for your insights and effort to share all these valuable information to us. True compassion comes from love and understanding.
Thank you for sharing, Tiffany. I’m happy to hear you’re in a healthy and honoring relationship. You deserve it!
I’d love to know what Anne was like as a child…
I’m relatively new to DYT, I’m a Type 3 and after watching this I think my husband may be Type 2 or at least have strong 2 energy. He is the ‘let me think about that and I’ll get back to you’ guy and I’m ‘let me get this done NOW’ Type 3. He shuts down and has a wall up for most of the marriage. When Anne described how if she’s talking and gets interrupted , she just stops and says ‘forget it’, that is soooo my husband! Thanks for some ways I can improve our communication by allowing him the time he needs to reflect and feel his feelings and by not interrupting him when he is sharing his thoughts and feelings. I love the Figure 8 idea and will use that as well! Thank you so much for this video!
Carol, thank you so much for helping me to understand my type 3 daughter and myself. I know she has been frustred with me, especially that I don’t answer quickly. She has often interpreted that as a no and I have felt run over in our communications.. I can now talk about our energies and ti has really helped me to express myself with her. I have been doing the affirmation with the blending of the energies and we have had a huge shift. There is more harmony in our relationship and we are spending more time together. We both feel much calmer and there is an ebb and flow in our conversation. Many blessings for the work you do.
I am a type 3. I work fast and hard most of the day, but when my type 2 husband comes home. My energy goes down and I feel a little bogged down to get anything done?! It’s an instant effect in the room, nobody has to say anything… I think my energy also has a bogging down effect on him as well. At the end of the day, he apologizes to me “not getting anything done”. I also apologize for not doing better and getting more done as well. (It’s a busy time in our lives, 4 small children and we have lots of farm animals and garden.) Any suggestions for working more easily and efficiently together when he gets home? I think we both desire this. Other than this issue, we have a super good relationship and love one another a lot! 🙂
I love this! I am a T3/4 (sometimes I think I may be 3/1….those two energies are very close in me), and my husband is a T2/3. It took me a while to figure out his dominant, but I am so glad to understand it now. We balance each other well. I am a ‘jump in with both feet and then look’ type of person, and he reads all the directions, and looks at all the options, and all the alternate routes before proceeding with something. Sometimes it drives me crazy haha, but usually, he is right and saves us money, or headaches, or time down the road by doing the research. I appreciate his gentle sweetness with our 4 daughters….he is a fabulous girl dad! He reminds me to slow down and pay better attention to them and the details of their childhood.
Simple acknowledgement has made a world of difference for me.
When we’re in the car and I need to return to the house for something, my Type 3 husband will invariably tell me to run. In the past my response would be to either run (grudgingly) OR to walk slowly (spitefully). Now I’ve just learned to remind him, “I don’t run,” and then continue at a normal pace (unemotionally).
This is not to say that I can never try to speed up or never be responsive to a request. It’s just a small reminder to him–and to myself–that it’s ok that we each operate at a different pace
I came here for fashion advice but this video may be the most valuable thing I’ve watched! I’m a type 3/4 with a type 2/4 husband. All of this applied to our relationship! Especially the part about struggling as the “dominant” type 3 woman. The struggle was not within our relationship but came from the outside, from family and friends who would criticize or tease about this apparent reversal of traditional roles. Now we’re older and we just don’t care what anyone else thinks!
I am a type two woman married to a type 3 man. One thing that you said in this video, Carol, just cleared up one of my biggest questions to my husband: Any time he is working on a project that he is getting worked up about, he asks for my “help”. Sometimes I actually have advice that does help, but often I end up asking him why I am there because I am just standing there visiting with him while he works, which seems to me to be without purpose. I stand there thinking about all the things that I could be doing rather than just watching him work, especially since his inevitable outbursts directed at his project can stress me out. I might ask, “Are you done with me now?” or, “Why am I here if you don’t actually need my help?” And now, for the first time, I actually understand why he does that. I bring a calming energy to him that he can’t access on his own. I had no idea that this is actually a compliment to me. Because it is my desire to have a calming effect on others, I am blessed to know that I have that effect on my husband. Thank you for using your type 3 energy to bring this information to the rest of us; I’m so glad that I found your program!
Thanks for sharing your great insight Gina.
Thanks Carol for that affirmation. It was also good to hear that you have just accepted the role of getting things done like a project or going on a trip. I struggle a lot with just letting go of false expectations and accepting this role in our relationship.
Wow…I just joined Lifestyle today and I had to tell you that it has already paid for itself in this talk. I had to stop folding the laundry while listening to it in order to take notes. Too many “ah ha” moments to list, but I had to thank you for this amazing body of work. I look forward to even greater understanding of both myself and those I love. It is so freeing!
Thank you so much Bonnie. Glad it helped.
Setting time limits is a great tip! Thanks!