The fun-loving couple!
While it’s rare for both individuals of a relationship to share the same Energy Type, it does happen! Luckily for this couple, it can be quite easy to enjoy each others’ similarities and differences!
Today Anne and I talk about how important each person’s secondary energies will be, as well as the challenges they may face regarding more serious aspects of life: budgeting, planning, having difficult conversations, etc. Watch the video below to see for yourself.
Affirmation: I’m grateful for the fun, light nature of our relationship, and we are mindful and following through on what is most important in our lives.
Other Videos in our Relationship Combo Series:
The Type 1 & Type 4 Relationship: Episode 1
The Type 2 & Type 3 Relationship: Episode 2
The Type 2 & Type 4 Relationship: Episode 3
The Type 1 & Type 2 Relationship: Episode 4
The Type 3 & Type 4 Relationship: Episode 5
The Type 1 & Type 3 Relationship: Episode 6
The Type 2 & Type 2 Relationship: Episode 8
The Type 3 & Type 3 Relationship: Episode 9
The Type 4 & Type 4 Relationship: Episode 10
I am a 2/1 married to a 4/3, but I have two t1 daughters, so I live this relationship every day with my daughters and they live it as sisters. I love their light, forgiving personalities and they are true sunshine in our home! I can definitely say that secondary energy comes out much stronger in their relationship. Their secondary natures are 2 and four, and that is where I really pick up on their unique needs and gifts. And now… I’m going to ask for your help! I am a t2 making lists and planning details for Christmas. My secondary 1 also wants Christmas to be so fun! However, my girls aren’t much help. It is not a T1 trait to make a list for Santa, or even to hope for just one most special thing (and not change your mind by morning). They see everything as a possibility and just when I finally decide on a gift (to buy, wrap and check off my list) they’ve thought of a new idea and that old idea becomes just “so-so”. The beautiful thing is that they are happy with everything and will smile no matter what – but we have had birthdays and Christmases that have felt “off” to me — like they were hoping for something different and my gift was off. A 2/1 wants to make others happy in a big way but I need help figuring them out. Do you have any suggestions for me as I navigate my Christmas list this year?!? My girls are 8 & 6 and love everything but are attached to nothing. Thank you!!!
Since they love everything and are attached to nothing it should be easy to purchase gifts for them. Could your Type 2 energy be making it harder on yourself then it needs to be. Your children are young and it sounds like you have them figured out. The off years were probably the years you didn’t know their Energy Types.
Thank you, Carol! Lesson of the Day: Type Twos Need a Journal! Typing this comment was the first time I put words to this exact issue. After leaving my computer, I started connecting the issues in my disrupted t2 energy. This wasn’t an issue with my daughters, but an issue with me “forcing” something not true to my nature. I have lived in a 3/4 and 4/3 energy for YEARS… like always… because I was going to adapt and make others comfortable. Christmas brings traditions, which is wonderful, but very heavy and stressful to me because I’ve never done it “my way” and I still feel the need for it to be “perfect”. After reading your comment, a gift showed up for me – found in a book that my toddler had thrown on the floor for the hundredth time… and I stepped on it as I was doing dishes by the sink. It was a book written by Chieko Okasaki years ago, but I opened to a chapter about CHRISTMAS, of all things! I’m pretty sure Chieko was a Type 1 woman, and she has healed my Christmas heart forever! All is well at our house this year, especially me! My heart is light and happy and thriving in the celebration of the season! The feeling is full (as it should be), yet the tasks don’t have to be heavy! Thank you for all you do to help us find JOY every day!!!
I have a good friend who is another type one. We have that sporadic connect-disconnect thing going on, which works for us, and this presentation describes the light energy we have together (most of the time)!
I’m a t1 married to a t1 and outr biggest challenge is actually bringing any plans to fruition! We want to go on vacations, etc but neither one of us seems to follow through with actually going through all the details of making the plans, reservations, etc..! We tend to do less than I think some type 1 couples may do because of this. I think we both actually are secondary type 4’s also so we I have to rely on my tertiary energy (t3) to get things done since his is t2.. I finally booked a cruise awhile back and we are leaving next week. Ha! 🙂 At least I know we will have fun!
As a Type 1, one of my challenges is keeping a tidy, organized house! Cleaning and putting things away always move to the back of my daily plan. They’re not fun to do (unless I play music and dance my way around the house). I would guess that a Type 1 + Type 1 couple might have a fairly messy house? Maybe they come up with tips and tricks that help them navigate that. I’d love to know what they are! 🙂
Fly lady is really helpful
I am a 1/4 married to a 1/2 with no children. I handle the money and big projects and he handles the small details. For example, I may come up with a vacation idea and he is always ready to go…but I hand the smaller details off to him…..we call it idea vs execution phase. I assume our secondaries save us from being messy and unfocused but all our family and friends love to come over and be around. One year we invited everyone in the whole neighborhood who had no family around to our house for Thanksgiving pot luck, we host super bowl parties etc etc and never sweat the plan…it just happens. We talk about it a lot and say it is very important to us to have happiness, no stress, and laughter in our home. Maybe even our choice of beagles for pets shows it, too!
I’m a 1/3 married to a 1/4, this year is our 40th anniversary. 4 children, a 2/1 daughter, & 4/3, 1/4 & 4/1 sons! We’re unconventional. We moved a lot, he took a job in Hawaii for 3 yrs, we thought it’d be fun, it was. Vacations were more day trips or overnight camping, or living in fun places – family has been central. Our kids were in a lot of activities – we had people over several times a week, active with church. 3 were in college all at once, so we moved to a small house, they lived home, like a little dorm the family room became a study with 3 desks. We were leaders, but not top leaders – smaller groups, and I organized the children’s events. I was usually in management, so I could be in charge of the schedule! We’re a light version of a power couple! Lol! He’s very technical, I’m not, but I get lots done, Our challenge has been time alone, we hate to do finances, but we do it – and always expect $$ for what’s at hand to show up and it does. Our house is neat, but not overly, we keep it simple, but the garage gets messy. We do hard jobs in little pieces, and help each other. I’m more active, he goes in spurts. I struggle to sit still for long. Sometimes we get out of sync with each other. We both try to do what the other wants so deciding insignificant things is challenging. We don’t argue much, and if we do, it’s over quick. We don’t let things build, it gets too heavy. But, he’s been a perfect match for me. I needed a fun, light partner for my life, and I think he did too. We met and were married in 6 months and have never regretted it!
Thank you for sharing this Susan! We appreciate you!
Aah! This has been fun to watch as everything about it is so familiar with my life. But what if my husband and I are both type ones and also have the SAME secondary?! I am pretty confident we are both 1/2 which has its plus sides but also has major down sides, we have so much fun together and can always keep a positive light on every situation but I’ve started realizing a major lack of structure and drive in our life as everything falls apart around us and both of us struggle to keep our family and life afloat. Any tips for a 1/2 1/2 combination?!
I am not married, nor have much experience, but I have been dating a man who is the exact same type as me. I have a younger sister who is the exact same type as both of us, also (we’re all 1/2/4/3s). My mom’s a 1, my dad’s a secondary 1, and my boyfriend’s parents are both 1s!!! My best friends are also 1s, or have a secondary 1!! I don’t know why I have attracted so much type 1 energy in my life haha!!! What is that lol. Silly 😛 my other sister, a type 4/2/1/3, is the “heaviest” energy I have close to me in my life.
So, my bf and I have been dating for almost 3 years. His dominant energy is more developed than mine is. I bonded with my 4/1 father when I was younger and I believe I overdeveloped my tertiary energy trying to adapt to his expectations. That has brought me to a spot where I am less silly/random than my boyfriend is, but the more I spend time with him, the more I feel like I can be my true type 1 energy (and it’s accepted)!!! It’s a wonderful gift, with all this laughter!!! <3
I’m a 1/4 married to a 1/4, so we take turns being the serious minded person. We have people who followed us on Facebook just to see the conversations we have with each other. We have five children and out of those five we only have one that doesn’t have a primary or secondary 1 energy, so we have a lot of impromptu singing/dancing/role-playing episodes going on in our home most of the time. Life is usually very easy going in most areas, but we do struggle with focusing on finances and making things work that way. I keep saying we need to make a sign to put on our door that’s fun, but keeps sale people away because we almost always end up signing up for something… oh the possibilities!!! We laugh through positively everything, including intimate moments (that’s the funnest part, lol), even through tears sometimes. He’s helping me find my way back to being fun and light-hearted, and I’m his cheerleader as he combines his dreams and life’s mission into one package.